Gender Stereotyping | Lulu Mabunda
11 September 2021 · 7 min · as at 2021-09-11
Lulu Mabunda (guest)
Listen to the episode on iono.fm · MP3
About the guest
Lulu Mabunda
South Africa
Grew up in South Africa with a sister and a brother.
Guest details come from the published episode notes or the guest's own words in the episode.
Episode analysis
Analysis by AI, drawn only from this episode; every point links to the moment it rests on.
A short solo essay by Lulu Mabunda on gender stereotyping. She starts from a nineteenth-century nursery rhyme and her own childhood, where her mother and teachers set different expectations for girls and boys. She then argues that these stereotypes carry into adult cultural expectations: girls kept from school in poor areas, and rigid expectations of men. She describes millennials rejecting historical gender lines, credits LGBTQ+ communities with widening self-expression, and closes with her hopes for equality, citing Plato and Gloria Steinem.
Key ideas
- Lulu argues that gender stereotyping starts from birth, with pink and blue clothing, and continues through what parents and teachers say to girls and boys. [00:54]▸ [01:08]▸ [01:23]▸
- Lulu describes a double standard in her family: her brother was cheered for having a girlfriend, while she would have heard talk of purity. [01:41]▸ [01:57]▸ [02:00]▸ [02:06]▸
- Lulu says stereotypes do not end after childhood but turn into cultural expectations, including sending sons rather than daughters to school when money is short. [02:55]▸ [02:55]▸ [03:07]▸ [03:24]▸
- Lulu argues that boys are raised to hide emotion, and uses the history of men's long hair to question the idea that real men have short hair. [03:57]▸ [04:10]▸ [04:33]▸
- Lulu says millennials put individuality ahead of historical gender roles, and credits LGBTQ+ communities with widening self-expression. [04:36]▸ [04:36]▸ [04:48]▸ [05:08]▸ [05:28]▸
- Lulu believes that equalising genders would keep more girls in school, reduce gender violence and make workplace pay fairer. [05:53]▸ [06:17]▸
Lessons
- Lulu's account suggests that everyday remarks to children, such as 'sit like a lady', can signal different expectations for girls and boys. [00:54]▸ [01:08]▸
- Lulu found that resisting stereotypes through her clothes and friendships led to name-calling, which shows the social cost of not conforming. [02:22]▸ [02:39]▸
- In Lulu's view, girls' access to schooling in poor households is a concrete result of gender expectations. [03:24]▸ [03:44]▸
- Lulu uses history, such as men's hair before World War I, to show that some gender norms are recent and not fixed. [04:10]▸
Who it's for
Parents, teachers and students who want a young person's first-hand view of how gender stereotypes show up at home, at school and in society, and of how a younger generation sees self-expression and equality.
Facts stated in the episode
- Lulu says the nursery rhyme 'What are little boys made of?' was first published in the early 1800s. [00:07]▸
- Lulu says men commonly had long hair between the fourteenth and the nineteenth century. [04:10]▸
- Lulu says World War I led to men having short hair, for health reasons such as lice. [04:10]▸
- Lulu cites Harry Styles wearing a skirt in the December 2020 issue of Vogue. [05:08]▸
Questions this episode answers
- How do gender stereotypes show up in children's everyday lives?Lulu describes girls being given pink and boys blue, her mother telling the girls to tie their hair nicely and sit like a lady, and teachers telling girls to speak like a lady while boys were not told to speak like gentlemen. [00:54]▸ [01:08]▸ [01:23]▸
- Are boys and girls treated differently when it comes to dating?Lulu recalls her five-year-old brother being congratulated for having a girlfriend, while she says she would have faced talk of purity, not congratulations. [01:41]▸ [01:57]▸ [02:06]▸
- Why are some girls in South Africa still kept out of school?Lulu says that in the poorest areas, when there is only enough money for one child, the boy is sent because he is expected to earn for the household. [03:07]▸ [03:24]▸
- Is the problem of girls missing school unique to South Africa?Lulu says it is not unique to South Africa and is all too common in many underdeveloped countries. [03:44]▸
- Why do people think real men should have short hair?Lulu says men had long hair between the fourteenth and nineteenth centuries, and that World War I brought short hair for soldiers for health reasons such as lice. [04:10]▸
- How do millennials view gender stereotypes?Lulu cites research showing millennials do not want to be defined along historical gender lines and value individuality, giving Harry Styles wearing a skirt in Vogue as an example. [04:36]▸ [04:48]▸ [05:08]▸
- What would change if gender stereotypes were broken down?Lulu believes it would keep more girls in school, reduce gender violence, and create fairer workplaces without different pay scales for men and women. [05:53]▸
- What role have LGBTQ+ communities played in challenging gender norms?Lulu says they have played a huge role in breaking stereotypes and have helped people define themselves through their clothes, identities and vocabulary. [05:28]▸
In their own words
Longer stretches of the conversation, word for word from the transcript, turn by turn.
Childhood double standards at home and school
Note (AI): Lulu's own account of the different rules she and her sister faced compared with her brother, told through specific remembered moments.
Lulu Mabunda, guest · [00:54]First I observed the differences about what my mother said to my sister and I and what she said to my brother. Comments to us girls like, tie your hair up nicely, sit like a lady, or help out in the kitchen. Then I observed things my teacher might say about speaking like a lady, but I don't remember a time about boys being told to speak like a gentleman. …
Read the full passage (264 words, 00:54-02:20)
Lulu Mabunda, guest · [00:54]First I observed the differences about what my mother said to my sister and I and what she said to my brother. Comments to us girls like, tie your hair up nicely, sit like a lady, or help out in the kitchen. Then I observed things my teacher might say about speaking like a lady, but I don't remember a time about boys being told to speak like a gentleman. Were people's expectations of girls different or maybe more than expectations of boys? We've all seen the newborn girls are given pink clothes and toys, and boys are given blue. So does the stereotyping stop from that young? For how long does it go on? Why has my brother always had more freedom to express himself than my sister and I? I remember the day he came home and told my parents that he had a girlfriend. He was congratulated and cheered on. Admittedly, he was five years old at the time, so it was pretty cute. That there was no way that I would have been cheered on or congratulated in my quest for a boyfriend. Regardless of my age or how cute it might have been, words such as purity would have featured in conversations, not congratulations. Why could he have a girlfriend, but I couldn't have a boyfriend? Why was that thought of me dating such a bad thing, but he was cheered on to do so? I may have not put my finger on what exactly was bothering me at the time, but I knew I wasn't okay with it.
Stereotypes becoming cultural expectations and education gaps
Note (AI): Connects childhood stereotyping to girls being kept out of school in poor areas and to rigid ideas of masculinity, with a historical note on hair.
Lulu Mabunda, guest · [02:55]Growing up in South Africa and thinking and researching more about gender stereotypes, I soon realized that they don't go away after childhood. Instead, they divert into entire cultural expectations. It wasn't unusual to read stories about women who have not been allowed to go to school because the woman's place is to manage the household and do all the housework, and the man is to be the only earners …
Read the full passage (257 words, 02:55-04:24)
Lulu Mabunda, guest · [02:55]Growing up in South Africa and thinking and researching more about gender stereotypes, I soon realized that they don't go away after childhood. Instead, they divert into entire cultural expectations. It wasn't unusual to read stories about women who have not been allowed to go to school because the woman's place is to manage the household and do all the housework, and the man is to be the only earners in the household. Because of this, sons were sent to school but not daughters. The really scary revelation was when I realized that it is still happening in our most poverty-stricken areas. If there is only enough money for one child to go to school, the boy is pegged with the expectations that he will receive enough education to earn and bring money to the household, that this is his place. I have discovered that this is not a unique situation to South Africa, but is all too common in many underdeveloped countries. But even in the first world countries, gender stereotypes persists. Boys are raised to be men who are tough, strong, competitive, and never show affection of any other emotion that could be taken as a sign of weakness. A real man doesn't have long hair, and it is interesting to note that men of all stages had long hair between the fourteenth and the nineteenth century, and it was World War I that resulted in the change to men having short hair, for health reasons such as lice. Soldiers had to have short hair.
Millennials, self-expression and a gender-equal future
Note (AI): Lulu sets out her view of generational change, the role of LGBTQ+ communities, and the outcomes she believes equality would bring.
Lulu Mabunda, guest · [04:36]Recent research into the millennial generation and their view on gender stereotyping shows that millennials do not want to be defined along the historical gender lines. Individuality is key for us to be recognized, for our individuality is more important than conforming to historical roles. For millennials, it is acceptable for women to wear feminine clothes and seen in a nurturing role as it is to wear black clothes and …
Read the full passage (295 words, 04:36-06:35)
Lulu Mabunda, guest · [04:36]Recent research into the millennial generation and their view on gender stereotyping shows that millennials do not want to be defined along the historical gender lines. Individuality is key for us to be recognized, for our individuality is more important than conforming to historical roles. For millennials, it is acceptable for women to wear feminine clothes and seen in a nurturing role as it is to wear black clothes and a Harley Quinn jacket while riding a motorbike. Millennial men are more comfortable than ever before wearing clothes that may have previously been considered feminine brands. For example, when Harry Styles wore a skirt in the December 2020s Vogue. This kind of breaking of gender roles is not unusual for millennials. Our LGBTQ plus communities have played a huge role in breaking these stereotypes and negative gender norms. They have made a massive contribution to the evolution of self-expression, acceptance, and helping people define themselves in term of their clothes, their identities, and the vocabulary they use when doing so. It is my hope that this is just the beginning of normalizing of genders. I believe that this equalizing is what will keep more girls in schools, results in less gender violence against both men and women, build fairer workplaces that do not have different pay scales for men and women, that can offer more political, economical, and social equality for men and women, and ultimately results in a world that isn't built on ignorant stereotypes. As Plato said, If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things. So hopefully in the future, as Gloria Steinum said, a gender equality society would be one where the word gender does not exist, where everyone can be themselves.
Quotes
“words such as purity would have featured in conversations, not congratulations.”
“Why could he have a girlfriend, but I couldn't have a boyfriend?”
“I may have not put my finger on what exactly was bothering me at the time, but I knew I wasn't okay with it.”
“I knew I did not want to be stereotyped.”
“Do clothes and hairstyles have genders?”
“Individuality is key for us to be recognized, for our individuality is more important than conforming to historical roles.”
“If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.”
“a gender equality society would be one where the word gender does not exist, where everyone can be themselves.”
What was said, by topic
Gender stereotyping in childhood
“From a nursery rhyme first published in the early 1800s, What are little boys made of?”
“First I observed the differences about what my mother said to my sister and I and what she said to my brother. Comments to us girls like, tie your hair up nicely, sit like a lady, or help out in the kitchen.”
“Then I observed things my teacher might say about speaking like a lady, but I don't remember a time about boys being told to speak like a gentleman.”
“We've all seen the newborn girls are given pink clothes and toys, and boys are given blue. So does the stereotyping stop from that young?”
“I remember the day he came home and told my parents that he had a girlfriend. He was congratulated and cheered on. Admittedly, he was five years old at the time, so it was pretty cute.”
“Regardless of my age or how cute it might have been, words such as purity would have featured in conversations, not congratulations.”
“Over time, I began to change my behavior. I started on the types of clothes I wore and the colors of these clothes, and I included the people that I started to hang out with.”
“So the more I did this, the more names I got called, from tomboy to daddy's girl to less innocent comments about the fact that many of my friends were boys,”
Girls' access to education
“Growing up in South Africa and thinking and researching more about gender stereotypes, I soon realized that they don't go away after childhood. Instead, they divert into entire cultural expectations.”
“It wasn't unusual to read stories about women who have not been allowed to go to school because the woman's place is to manage the household and do all the housework, and the man is to be the only earners in the household.”
“The really scary revelation was when I realized that it is still happening in our most poverty-stricken areas. If there is only enough money for one child to go to school, the boy is pegged with the expectations that he will receive enough education to earn and bring money to the household, that this is his place.”
“I have discovered that this is not a unique situation to South Africa, but is all too common in many underdeveloped countries.”
Masculinity stereotypes
“Boys are raised to be men who are tough, strong, competitive, and never show affection of any other emotion that could be taken as a sign of weakness.”
“men of all stages had long hair between the fourteenth and the nineteenth century, and it was World War I that resulted in the change to men having short hair, for health reasons such as lice. Soldiers had to have short hair.”
Millennials and self-expression
“Recent research into the millennial generation and their view on gender stereotyping shows that millennials do not want to be defined along the historical gender lines.”
“Millennial men are more comfortable than ever before wearing clothes that may have previously been considered feminine brands. For example, when Harry Styles wore a skirt in the December 2020s Vogue.”
“Our LGBTQ plus communities have played a huge role in breaking these stereotypes and negative gender norms. They have made a massive contribution to the evolution of self-expression, acceptance, and helping people define themselves in term of their clothes, their identities, and the vocabulary they use when doing so.”
Gender equality
“I believe that this equalizing is what will keep more girls in schools, results in less gender violence against both men and women, build fairer workplaces that do not have different pay scales for men and women,”
“As Plato said, If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.”
“So hopefully in the future, as Gloria Steinum said, a gender equality society would be one where the word gender does not exist, where everyone can be themselves.”
Episode notes (as published)
From the episode notes published with the podcast.
Edu Inc is a registered, affordable, IEB Private School in Fourways South Africa teaching grades 4 to 12 with 10 children per class. Choosing the right school for your child is one of the biggest responsibilites of being a parent. With our very small classes, each child is assured personal attention from our qualified and caring teachers. As a mainstream IEB GDE-registered and Umalusi-accredited school, our Matrics write the same exams as the other private IEB schools you are familiar with. We’re extremely proud of our 100% pass rate and look forward to answering any questions you may have about Edu Inc. This podcast channel will give you some insight into how Edu Inc operates and communicates with its community. Edu Inc website · Facebook (Public) · Facebook (closed group) · Twitter (closed group) · YouTube · Review us on Google
Every quotation and passage on this page is copied word for word from the episode audio transcript and linked to the moment it was said. Quotations are never written or altered by AI; topic labels, passage notes and the episode analysis are AI-generated. Guest details come from the published episode notes or the guest's own words.